Its been a tiring week, so getting on the computer and dishing out a blog post is like a breath of fresh air for me. I have been seriously stressed out, studying everyday for at least 6 hours consecutively without breaks, studying till midnight and being unable to stop because of the frikking long syllabus that I havent been able to complete. The feeling of not being able to be on par with others haunts me, and the race to digest, memorise and understand all the different facts and concepts totally drains me. Many a time I have faltered and my thoughts strayed to the easier way out: giving up. It really seems like a very good deal, you stop and you stop, end of story. No more late nights, no more chasing after every concept to understand, no more self-inflicted pressure. No more stress.
Geography, Social Studies, E and A Math, Physics Chemistry Biology...the onslaught of subjects take their toll on my body after a week of restless nights and horrible dreams.
Thats why i decided not to study for my E Math paper 2 tomorrow, but simply relax and slow down to double over and catch my ragged breath. I seriously feared for my life (yes! really) when there was a day when my heart rate shot up and i had trembling fingers for hours. My heart pounded loudly, creating abnormally great vibrations that I could sense even without a palm. There was this pressing force on my chest, suffocating me. I couldn't breathe. It was an extremely frightening experience, and a first for me. I took my heart pressure with my dad's pressure monitor, and it was 137! A normal person would be 120 and below. I have never, in my whole life, felt as stressed as I do at this moment of time. It was like my mind is willing and pushing me as a whole, mentally and physicaly. But my body just couldnt keep up, getting left behind, dragged further and further away, wearing the rope thin till it eventually snaps. What if the rope snaps? What happens then? I know my rope almost did, until I slowed down and let my other half catch up.
So I shall not stress myself out anymore. To hell with the papers. If i flunk badly, its because of last minute work, which is not your true ability so why bother? What matters is to work hard for all papers and score well. I plan on doing that for all future papers. No last minute work anymore. Its just not worth it scaring yourself, getting drained of energy, working late into the night and waking up early in the morning, fearing for under-preparation, thinking of the possible doom you face when you walk into the exam hall.
Never will I be so foolish again.
Exam Stress
Sports Day Finals
410 absolutely owned in Sports Day! The girls and guys clinched many medals, and Kenny got the individual champ. I suppose if there was a champion class trophy, it would have been ours! I finally got the medal I have been training like hell for. Even though it was a bronze, it still represented the hard work all of us have put in. It was sad that Sheryl's dad didnt get to be in our Runner's photo, since he was the guy who gave so much to us.
And the 410 412 girls conspired against me to give a flying kiss to my sister! -.-
My parents were very glad when my sister and I showed them our fruits of labour :)
The competition is over, so now its time for us all to sit down and turn into muggers! All the best for mid years and o levels! Haha yes indeed 410 is pretty damn awesome, and may that awesomeness likewise shine through in our academic results !
Sports day
Today was sports day, my first ever sports day which i competed in. The feeling was utterly horrible, as ive never been part of any physical competition in my WHOLE FREAKING LIFE! I was like a fat puiba in primary school. No one wanted me to join anything other than shot put. But this year i could run at least somewhat decently, so participating in the track events wasnt a bad idea.
Sheryl's father is great and noble man! He coached us, gave us running strategies and tips, and supplied us with 100 plus and bananas. LOL! He is Mr Nice Guy, giving his precious time to puny students like us. I bet he has flights to catch and destinations to go to in his bluetooth-controlled-silver-lexus-gs300. But he chose to accompany us for two training lessons, teaching us the basics of baton passing and such. I hope his company out-profitises Osim.
Many thanks to sheryl and her dad, cheryl alyssa hannqian amanda jason yonghui zixin junneng keith kenny kian ann plus others(if there are still) for spurring me on during my events. It was my maiden competition (LOL if it can be used like that) and i was having the jitters. in addition to feeling really low after my first 400m, because i thought i did badly as i didnt have any power in my legs during the run. They felt soft and jelly-like. Actually on hindsight it was quite ok, cos i clinched 6th place with a 63 sec time (cited from Sheryls dad).
We owned 4X400m, bagging first place! Jason, kenny and kian ann were all awesome in running. Its a wonder how Kian ann doesnt tire from his 100m and 4X100 and kenny from his 800m event.
Got last place in my 400m finals, but heck, it was back-to-back with the previous 4X400m. I knew i would get last place from the start; i was already tired out.
After all the events, my legs totally malfunctioned and felt like sleeping in the stadium for the night.
The girls also shone in relay, getting 1st due to disqualification of 412. Im sure 412 would have owned 410 due to the insanely fast and long-legged yanling plus jeraldine wee and suxiang.
Lets hope 410 does well in finals on sports day and all the best to kenny for his 1.5km and high jump, both of which are also back-to-back events.
HIATUS BREAK
Rock concert: Powerhouse @ the Esplanade! Went during Saturday night. Didnt catch my friend's band on Sunday though, band name is Flybar. http://www.myspace.com/flybartheband
Mains in rock/pop. Their rock is rather light, and pop is just nice for them. Their songs are all original and composed by them! You can ask me to send you if you like :) Recommends Beautiful Killer for rock heads, while She's So Lazy for pop lovers
Lovely natural wood finish guitar
Finally a break in my super-long duration hiatus!! Common tests are over, but atmosphere isnt there for celebration as I know I didnt do well. sigh, guess thats what comes after you study only the day before the exam. Had to burn midnight oil several times, especially the weirdly fked up placing of Additional Math and Biology together. Heavy content based subject with calculations?! Nanhua is the only school doing this crap man. Two subs per day, and they say cos the O levels might have such a format. -.- like okay, how often do they have two subs in a day, and how often beyond that do they put AMath with BIO?! whatever lah.. sure get crap shit results
So far:
English: 20/30
topped the class with this grade which isnt even an A2
E Math: 29/40
though its A2, it sucks as its below the class average
Chinese: 41/70
haha great for me, im not scoring below 40s anymore
Chemistry: 30/50
the teacher said i fell below expectations
Not too promising an average...with this i already have 9 points in my L1R3?! LOL at this rate ill never go JC
During the weekend went to a Rock concert with Zhewei, poly friend : Powerhouse @ the Esplanade! From above. Listened to B-Quartet play. People, buy LIME magazine to support local music! They are giving a free CD with 30 compiled tracks from local bands, and if sales turn out well, they will continue supporting locals with more sponsors, events etc. PLEASE buy the magazines!! you can say each track costs 10 cents and the magazine comes free, whichever way you like it.
And it seems that Im finally getting an acoustic guitar! Takamine GS330s, solid cedar top., $500 bucks, mint condition.No electronics or cut-away though, so cant connect to amp. However it comes with a HARD CASING! Songbo, those cases cost like 100+ to 200+ for good ones. Xiaotian spent like duno how much last time buying an Ibanez
Oh and please watch this video. Its a short film about an auntie who frequently goes to the Clementi area. She is alittle mentally unstable, and likes to ramble about how sucky singapore is and how other countries like London or Taiwan are so much greater! She once harrassed me Kian An Kenny and others in Sumo House! These boys in the video decided to disiao her alittle and film her stupid speech
Crazy Macdonald's Aunty
Lastly, I was researching on Satanism and Black/Death Metal music last night. I found out a few things:
1. A black metal band Gorgoroth showed its Satanist support by holding a metal concert with 80 litres of sheeps blood and sheep heads around them, and they even CRUCIFIED 4 MODELS NAKED!!! they got caught and charged by authorities i think, and their video feed was confiscated. OMG!
2. Source: Church of Satan Main Website
This is taken from the "11 Satanic Rules of the Earth"
no. 3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
no. 4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
no. 9. Do not harm little children.no. 11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.OMG man!!! We will be destroyed if we disturb Satanists!!!And their no. one greatest sin that as Satanists SHOULD NOT commit is:
Stupidity—The top sin on the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.
3. Disclaimer: I am merely posting information found on the web and wikipedia. Muslims or related persons to Islam, please do not be offended or upset in any way. I am not asserting in anyway that Islam is such a religion and these are not my views. Rather, I am only informing the public that there are such controversies online. Any Muslims who chance upon this blog you are welcome to dispute such articles by tagging my board or emailing me at xgamesterz@hotmail.com.
Lastly, i found that islam seems to allow paedophilic actions?! As can be found in Sura chapter 65 of the Quran. Prophet Mohammed also had nine wives.
and even married "Ayesha", a child. Since taking a child bride was so unusual, it seems Mohammed claimed Allah had spoken to him in order to overcome the strong protests of the child's father. Thus, the marriage ceremony occurred when the girl was 6 and finalized through intercourse when she was nine(51 years old) and she had sex when she was nine with him when he was 54 years old)
http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Pedophilia_in_the_Qur'an
http://www.faithfreedom.org/Articles/sina/ayesha.htm
Top gear
i saw this video link through one of my subscribed email newsletters and thought, what the heck lets just watch this before i sleep. seemed to be mildly interesting. it started with hammond as the show's compere and it was a normal startoff for topgear. then halfway through, i think the bit where the plane and car starts off that i became excited (very). i was like omg what will happen next?? who will win etc. when the video ended i realised i had a crazy smile on my lips. i think im mad. or i underestimated topgear :) man i love brits...enjoy! look at the time i posted